Solo Act
by Megera
Summary: (CATS) Just a quick little fic about Rumpelteazer


Disclaimer: Things I Don't Own: 1)A gerbil 2) A grandfather clock 3) the hope diamond 

4) Cats 5)Cats characters Numbers 4 and 5 belong to RUG, ALW, TSE, and all other applicable parties.

Solo Act

Rumpelteazer strained to keep her eyes open. Her entire being wanted to sleep, but she fought the urge give in. She had been lying in her basket for about two hours now, wanting to be sure that Mungojerrie wouldn't wake up. He had one arm around her and his breath was deep and steady. When he began to make little whistling sounds every time he exhaled, Rumpelteazer felt confident enough to ease her way out of the basket. 

Slowly, she wriggled out from under Mungojerrie's arm. She balled up the blanket she had been sitting on in order to keep it warm and pressed it against the calico. The sleeping tom gathered it up and continued to sleep, tightly hugging the fake Rumpelteazer.

After gently fishing a sock out from under the pillow, she made her way quietly to the cat flap in the back door and eased out into the night air. "Tha' worst is over. Mungo's asleep and Oi'm on my way." she said with satisfaction. 

She had big plans for the night. She was going to pull a job. Alone. She had her sites set on a certain little trinket and vowed to get it on her own. Rumpelteazer headed down the street, avoiding the pools of light the street lamps made on the pavement. She wished with all her might that her partner would not wake up. She didn't expect he wouldn't take kindly to being abandoned.

She wasn't flying solo because of anything Jerrie had done. They hadn't had a falling out or a lover's quarrel or anything like that. She smiled to herself, thinking of her mate.

Their relationship had been a simple one compared to that of some of the other cats she knew. It was taking forever for Munkustrap to be honest with Demeter about his feelings. Rumpelteazer had to fight the mad desire to grab the golden queen by the shoulders and yell "MUNK'S IN LOVE WITH YA!". Tugger and Bomba were no better, constantly bickering, constantly jealous of some other cat. She and Jerrie had become a couple quietly. Rumpelteazer felt it the simplicity of their coupling was due to the basket.

When the two calico street kittens had been taken in by some well-to-do humans, one of the luxury items they provided was beds. Two cat baskets. Rumpelteazer's was quiet small, perfect for the kitten she was at the time, with a pink pillow and matching blanket. Mungojerrie's, for some reason, was huge, big enough for three cats. His also had a pillow and blanket but in the more masculine color of blue.

They had been excited at first, they had spent all of their nights on the street crammed together in a tight little ball in order to stay warm. Both were looking forwards to having their own space. One morning, Rumpelteazer woke up to find Jerrie in her basket. What had surprise her was that she was not surprised. She had always slept with Jerrie before, why should they be apart now? Besides, it was easier to sleep with her own personal heater in the form of a striped tom in the bed with her. So Jerrie continued to sleep in her basket, despite the fact that the human children were always plucking him out and putting him in his own.

As the pair grew, they found themselves a bit crammed. They tried moving to Jerrie's basket, but that was unacceptable. It was too big, they drowned in it. So they continued to sleep in Rumpelteazer's, eventually waking up to find various limbs spilling over the wicker edge.

Their humans finally took the hint and presented them with a compromise. A medium sized basket with a purple pillow and blanket. This suited the two just fine, although the blanket stayed mainly on the floor, they provided each other with all the heat they needed. And their intimate relationship began as simply as that.

As much as Teazer loved Jerrie, she had the strong desire to do this job on her own. She needed to just be and just be alone. MungojerrieandRumpelteazer. Almost a word in itself. There was never one of them without the other. Teazer was relieved that they weren't siblings. They were not the only cats in such a situation. Tantomile and Coricopat were, as Rumpelteazer said on occasion, pretty much just one cat. It was worse for the mystics, because they were not just siblings, but twins. They were perfectly identical. The best way to tell them apart was to listen to their voices, which was next to impossible, as they nearly always spoke at the same time. Rumpelteazer wondered in Tantomile ever wanted to ditch her brother for a day and go out for a night on the town. 

While Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were not identical, they looked enough alike to confuse the family if necessary. Matching collars added to the effect. She had been called Mungojerrie by the humans more than once, which was a bit of a blow to her self esteem. She had to be prettier than Mungojerrie. He always said she was pretty, even beautiful, but Teazer figured he was bias. 

Mungojerrie AND Rumpelteazer. Always 'and'.

"But not tonight!" Teazer said firmly, arriving at the house. She had been here before, doing a bit of scouting. She wanted the job to go quickly and smoothly, so she had gathered all the information she could and laid out a plan.

She couldn't get through the windows and dropping in through the chimney was out. That was a hard enough task with Mungojerrie and she wasn't quite brave enough to try it on her own. She was going to use the skylight.

Getting to the roof was the first task, although not a hard one. Sock firmly clamped in her mouth, she scampered up a large tree, across a big branch and on to the roof. "So far, so good." she said, moving towards the glass square.

It wasn't locked, just latched. "Silly 'umans. Locked all the windows 'cept this one." she said. 

On top of that, it had a little prop that supported it, making a screen the only obstacle between Teazer and entry. With one quick swipe of her paw, she was in.

She dropped onto the icebox, scanning the room. It was quiet, it was dark. Teazer smiled, but didn't giggle. She had promised herself she wouldn't. She froze, cocking her head. There were muffled sounds, footsteps, maybe, just beyond the kitchen. She backed up slowly, feeling the desperate need to get somewhere safe. She bumped something with her rump and she turned, horrified, as a large glass jar, filled with something amber colored tottered precariously on the edge of the icebox. She grabbed at it and kept it from hitting the floor, but could not prevent the top from falling off. It made a gentle clatter, but not enough of a noise to attract attention. What really worried the calico queen was the steady flow of amber goo flowing steadily to the floor and all over her paws. She heard a toilet flush and more muffled footsteps. After a few moments of silence, Teazer righted the jar, seeing the label that read "honey", and looked around for something to wipe her paws on.

Seeing nothing, she grimaced and raised a paw to her mouth. The stuff was thick, sticky, and very sweet. "Eh. Not bad." she licked at her lips. "Not very good, either." She licked off as much as the stuff as she could stand, then, using the counters and drawers as stairs, she was soon standing on the cool tile floor. She stopped to contemplate her next move. She knew what room she needed to be in, but wasn't completely sure about how to get there.

There were two different doors, one to the far right, one to the left. She was pretty sure that she needed to go left, so she headed towards the door, leaving sticky paw prints behind her.

She found herself in a hallway with six doors, three on each side. She decided to avoid the doors on the right, and use a bit of trial-and-error to find the correct door on the left.

With the sock over her shoulder, she entered the room nearest to her and ran smack dab into another cat. This one was considerably younger than she, mostly black with wide eyes.

"Who are you?" the kitten whispered.

"Uh. . . " Teazer searched her mind frantically for a name, any name. "Oi'm Santa Claws."

"Who?"

"Ya know, Santa Claws. Oi bring gifts to good little kits."

"But Santa is a human. A boy human. And he comes at Christmas."

"Oi came a little early this year. Oi'm Ms. Santa Claws. The cat Ms. Santa Claws."

"Really?"

"Ya. See me bag?"

The kitten eyed the sock. "Are there gifts in there?"

"Uh, sure, but ya can't see 'em. An' Oi can't leave 'em unless you're asleep."

"But I'm awake."

"Oi know. So ya better run off to ya 'lil bed and get to sleep."

"Okay!" the little kitten scampered back into the room and snuggled down onto a large 

cushion. It closed its eyes tightly and sat completely motionless.

Teazer dug into her bag, frantically hoping there was some little trinket left from her and Mungo's last job. Her paws closed around something soft and she pulled it out. It was a little toy mouse.

"Whot'd we snatch this for?" she mused, giving the worthless toy a shake. "Ah well. The kit'll loike it." She inched over to the kitten who was watching her with one eye.

"No peeking!" Teazer said. The kitten clenched its eyes shut. The stripped burglar tried to set the mouse down and found it sticking to her honey-coated paw. She gave it a frantic shake, breathing a sigh of relief as it popped off. Turning to the kitten, she whispered, "Now, ya got to stay in bed 'til mornin' or it'll disappear!"

"Thank you, Ms. Santa Claws." the kit whispered back.

"You're welcome."

"Does Sam get a present too?"

"Sure, sure. Sam gets one too. Now go to sleep."

"Okay."

"See ya next year!" she went to give the kit a pat on the head, then though better of it, considering the honey and quickly darted out of the room.

"Damn!" she hissed when she was out into the hallway. "They didn't have cats the last time Oi was 'ere. 'ope Sam is sleeping. Ah well. Back to business"

She tried the next door and found herself in what she assumed was the den. This wasn't where she needed to be either, but there was some lovely things above the fire place that caught her eye, so decided to take a few minutes to examine the possible loot. She jumped up onto the mantel, nearly knocking a large vase over with her sock.

"Damn!" she swore again. Usually Mungojerrie carried the sock and after tonight, she was glad for it.

Adjusting the footwear, she weaved her way in and out of the expensive knickknacks, pausing here and there to admire something particularly nice. 

"Pretty stuff," she said, running a paw over a candlestick. "Too bad Oi can't carry any of it on me own." She dropped the sock to the floor, then jumped after it.

She moved to retrieve it and stopped when she felt hot air on her back. Turning slowly, she found herself inches from a very large, sleeping dog.

She stood motionless, staring at the huge canine. It was black and brown and lay with its mouth hanging open, displaying very sharp-looking teeth. *This must be Sam*, she thought. She was too scared to move, certain the pounding of her heart would wake the creature. Finally, her lungs began to ache and she realized she had been holding her breath. She exhaled slowly, taking careful steps backwards. Then, to frightened to continue inching, she turned on her heels and fled, running into the room directly across from the den.

Safely out of the dog-occupied room, she tried to stop, but the surface was too slick. She slid across the floor, claws scratching frantically for something to hold on to. She slammed into what she assumed was a wall. She looked up to see a counter and jumped on to it. Her right front paw landed on something hard and slippery. It sent her sprawling into a cup containing toothbrushes. The cup fell over and the toothbrushes clattered to the floor. She froze, listening for the sound of someone approaching. When she heard nothing, she relaxed and jumped down to the floor, resisting the urge to curse up a storm.

"Whot's my problem?" she hissed into the air. "Oi've knocked over everything Oi've come in contact with! Oi'm never this clumsy!" She began searching for her sock.

"'Course, Jerrie always carries the bag." determined not to make another sound, she crept over the toothbrushes and out into the hallway.

"Only one door left." she muttered, walking with a determined gait to the final door. This was it, the room she had been studying through the window. She moved slowly, taking in every sound and every movement. There were two people on a bed. Their deep, regular breathing told her they were asleep. A clock somewhere counted off the seconds with a dull 'tick-tock'. The curtain was parted and a river of moonlight streaked across the floor. She headed straight for a dressing table at the far end of the room. She studied the table intently. "Not gonna hit somethin' this time." she whispered, and jumped up gracefully and silently. 

In the middle of the table sat a small, ornate box with a delicate lock. Grinning, she gently slid one claw into the lock, turning this way and that. It did not work as quickly as usual and she began to get nervous. The constant ticking of the clock and breathing of the humans was almost maddening. She missed the easy chatter and reassuring presence of Mungojerrie. She gave the lock a few more twists until she heard a soft click. "Music to me ears." she whispered, opening the lid. 

Her grin widened as she stared into the box, the moonlight played on the precious stones, casting glowing colors on to her face. She plucked the prettiest stones from the box and tucked them into the bag, with as much care as a mother with her newborn kits. She took only about one fourth of the box's contents. The pretty jewels were not her real goal. She sifted through the jewelry until she found what she was looking for. Biting her lip to keep from giggling, she pulled a delicate pearl bracelet from the box. Putting it into the bag, she turned and jumped down, silent as a shadow.

She padded out of the room as quickly as she dared, out into the hallway, past the bathroom, the sleeping kit, and the huge dog all the way to the kitchen. She went immediately to the icebox, stopping only when she stepped in something wet and sticky.

"I forgot abou' the 'oney!" she moaned. Not wanting to take the time to clean her paw, she gave it a shake and made her way to the top of the icebox. Rumpelteazer shoved her bag through the shredded screen, then followed after it.

She climbed back down the tree and out to the road, where she broke out into a run. She didn't stop until Victoria Grove was in site. She set the sock down, panting, and opened it up. She laughed with triumph as she removed and examined her prize in the moonlight. The pearl bracelet was perfect, heavy, milky beads with a delicate twist in the middle. She fastened them around her neck, smiling at the slight weight on her chest. She peered over the curb into a puddle at her reflection. Absolutely perfect.

"An' Oi got 'em. All on me own." she tilted her head, examining herself from different angles. "'Course, everyone'll think it's some gift from Jerrie." she smiled again. "Ah well. Oi know 'ow Oi got 'em. Tha's all tha' matters." 

The wind picked up and a shiver ran through the queen's body. "Time to get to bed." She gathered up the sock and carried it out back into the garden. She ducked under a bush and pushed away a pile of soil to reveal a shoe box. Lifting the lid, she emptied the sock, returned the lid and the soil, then happily trotted up the steps to the cat flap.

Back inside, she tucked the sock under the pillow and crawled back into the basket. Mungojerrie stirred and opened his eyes.

"Teaza!" he mumbled. "Where ya been?"

"Jerrie, give me paw a lick, will ya? Oi can't stand to taste any more of this stuff." she said, ignoring the question.

He obediently began grooming her paw. "It's 'oney!"

"Ya, Oi know."

He liked sweets far better than Teazer, so he groomed with enthusiasm. When her paw was quite clean, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His paw brushed over the pearls.

"Wha's this?" he asked, giving them a slight tug. 

"Oi pulled a job." she yawned. 

"Without me?"

"Yeah."

Silence. Teazer groaned and sat up. "Jerrie, Oi jus' wanted somethin' pretty for the Ball."

"Oi coulda helped."

"Oi know, Oi jus' wanted to try on me own. S'nothing personal, Jerrie."

"This all ya got?"  
"Nah, I grabbed a couple jewel-y things too. Macavity'll be wanting some kind of tribute soon."

He was quiet for a moment. Then, "So 'owed it go?"

"Oi nearly jumped on top of a big pollicle, Oi knocked over everythin' Oi came near, Oi had to play Santa for some kit, Oi rammed into a wall, Oi slipped on soap an' stepped in 'oney. Twice. It's much more fun wit' you."

He smiled, satisfied with the answer and cocked his head, studying her. "They're real pretty," he said, finally. "jus' like you."

"Thanks, love. Let's get some sleep, eh?"

"It's nearly dawn."

"Yeah," she yawned again. "but Oi haven't slept."

"Oi have."

"Yeah, but ya gotta keep me warm. Oi can't sleep without ya." she smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek.

The tabby paused. Sleeping was very high on his list of favorite activities. "Yeah, all roight."

They snuggled down into the basket, wrapped around each other and were very soon asleep.

~end~


End file.
